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The desire and need to contribute to family finances and not be dependent on a spouse’s salary is a strong motivator in my decision to return to work. 

Leslie Bennetts’ book The Feminine Mistake:  Are We Giving Up Too Much? discusses this issue at length.   Bennetts defines women’s decisions to leave work as a mistake because of the vulnerable position they assume with financial dependence on a spouse touting “a man is not a financial plan.” Job loss, illness, death and divorce can have devastating effects on unemployed women with children.  The book gives many examples.  Working women and two-income families are better prepared to meet these challanges if the need arises. 

Bennetts also points out the opportunity costs to women who leave work -lost income and decreased earning power.

Brace yourself when you read it.  It can be eye-opening but also somewhat of a depressing read for those of us that have been home for a long time.  Did I make a mistake leaving work to be home with my children?  

Bottom line- I agree with Bennetts.  And yes, I do think I made a mistake to remove myself completely from the work force.

If I could do it over, I would still leave full-time work to be home with my children but I would work part-time and suffer through juggling kids and work. Part-time work was offered by my employer and I refused thinking it would have been too difficult with two babies to care for, plans for a third and a husband with a demanding job.  In hind sight, that was short-term thinking.   Also, I would not stay out of the work force as long as I did.  

Bennetts counsels that child-raising demands diminish in time and she advocates a toughen-up attitude to women who just find it too difficult to raise children and work.   I wish I had realized that instead of niavely saying to myself, “I’ll just figure that out later.”  Fortunately for me, later is now.